I'm going to jail i love you
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize