Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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