nutella sex= disaster
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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