She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
