Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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