My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize