Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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