Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize