need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
