Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
