I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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