All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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