Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
