it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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