we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
