I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
