My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize