just tell him i said nine months
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
