I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
