coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Houston, we have a blender
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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