i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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