Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize