Porn is love you can see.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Michael Bay diarrhea
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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