This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
