so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
