After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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