nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
