Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
