I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
