There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i wish my penis had a tongue
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
organizing the empties. That sober.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
