i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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