masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
