That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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