no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
