I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
