also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Use "feeling words"
Yay
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
