Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
