I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I lost the right to judge tonight
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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