also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
