he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
