goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
