walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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