i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
