Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
