The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
