it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
