Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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