I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
