I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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