More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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