i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
