if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
