apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize