You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
its liver damage thursday
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
