What did we do last night that was yellow?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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