From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
