That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
