do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
