Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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